honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
