just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
