She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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