ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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