Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
