hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
