it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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