No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
