Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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