I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
