worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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