What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just puked most of my soul out..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
