I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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