Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
how drunk are you?
Several
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
