i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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