If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
