there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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