Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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