I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
