Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
