and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
