I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize