it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize