Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I need a beard to bite.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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