don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
