she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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