i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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