I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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