He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize