For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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