i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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