You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
