What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
