I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
