NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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