just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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