You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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