She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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