he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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