What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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