Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
