that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
