First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
