I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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