You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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