no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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