What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it was like eating out sand paper
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
