we have officially lost it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
