4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
