we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I got her a Nickelback box set.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
