Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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