i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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