If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
