They should really pass out barf bags in church
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
