I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
