You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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