so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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